Hindsight really is 20/20. A random visit to an old blog of mine made me realize a lot of things. For one, I didn't know I was carrying a lot of drama back then. I whined too much and ranted about every little thing. I had spent about 4 years walking around with a huge chip on my shoulder. I got a good look of the younger version of me and I cringed. I was so caught up in the present that I forgot to take a look at the bigger picture and appreciate the good stuff. I spent too much time complaining and comparing myself to others. I was young and I wanted the world given to me on a silver platter. Immaturity (and stubbornness) got the better of me. Such was the mind of a young, egoistic graduate who refused to adjust and instead, stuck to her own set of wants and ideals that weren't necessarily in tune with her reality. And so, time passed her by. It was sad.
Looking back, I wish I had known better. I wish I had done better. More importantly (and I say this with regret), I wish I had listened--to my parents who only think for what's best and have the uncanny ability to always know what is right, and to my relatives who had the experience to back up their words.
On the other hand, I'm glad I still kept that blog tucked away somewhere. Though I simply wrote about what went on with little or no insight, they were still good memories of my last moments as a college student, of a fresh immigrant in a new country, and of the joys and pains of a twenty-something trying to find purpose.
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